Jesus... Has his own Opinion (language)

It's Saturday morning and the "I Know Jesus!" shows have started. I have news for you. Jesus spoke to me, or I may have been that drunk, or I may have taken that many painkillers or it could be some combination of all of those, but the bottom line is, Jesus is screaming in my head at the top of his lungs, "You couldn't find second base with a flashlight!"

And I fully get that. Jesus wants us to be cool enough (in our terms) that we (and they) are okay getting to second base with the Jewish, or the Muslim, or the Buddhist, or the Hindu, or the... chick.

Now me? When I'm not so big an asshole I say I'm God, I am fully confident God is not an asshole. That's why I KNOW God does not have a problem with divorce. That's why I KNOW God doesn't have a problem with race (holy shit, how hard is it to flood New Orleans/Mobile/oops a dam broke buhbye Atlanta) and why I KNOW God hates wedge issues.

Wait, wha? Wedge wha? Yes, Wedge issues. No fags in the Army. No abortions, don't give a shit if you were raped (by dad). No taxes. No... What the fuck?

Hey, let me tell you something. God is *omniscient*. That means God is All Powerful. If someone tells you they need money to do "God's Work," they're fucking LYING. Omniscient means God doesn't give a shit about your money. Anyone who says they need money is saying *THEY* need money. God could care less. God is all powerful and screw the money.

If you've given more than basic operations (a buck or two) you've been had. The rest of it is pure scam. And that's being charitable.